Positive & negative,etc.:Jewish women's observance

One of my Orthodox co-workers and I were discussing Sefirah. I said that I was a bit ambivalent about the Sefirah restrictions on permissible activities (no haircuts, no live music, etc.--there are a variety of customs and interpretations) because these restrictions just don't make sense: Why are there 33 days of mourning for the plague among Rabbi Akiva's students, but only one day (Tisha B'Av) for the destruction of the Temple (churban Bet HaMikdash) and only one day (Yom HaShoa) for the 6,000,000 dead in the Holocaust (for those who advocate a day other than Tisha B'Av)? She made it clear that she observes all the restrictions, but doesn't count the Omer.

Another Orthodox co-worker, one of the Women’s Tehillim (Psalms) Group attendees, told me recently that she’d already said the psalms for the day, just in case she wasn’t able to attend the Tehillim group. I commented that I was having a tough time learning how to focus while praying Maariv (Arvit, Evening Service) on the subway (which I’ve taken to doing after folk dancing because I always get home so late). A different Orthodox co-worker had recently mentioned to me that many women don't say Maariv at all (it being a service the obligatory nature of which is debatable, since it doesn't replace any of the daily sacrifices made in the long-destroyed Temple in Jerusalem, but Orthodox and observant Conservative men have all accepted it as obligatory).

I find it interesting that my priorities seem to be different from those of some (many?) women within the Orthodox community. For openers, from what little I’ve heard, there seems to be more emphasis on avoiding the forbidden (that is, obeying the negative commandments) than on doing the permitted and/or required (that is, obeying the positive commandments). Or perhaps it’s just that davvening (praying) is central to my particular way of observing Judaism, whereas there’s a question how much prayer, if any, and what kind of prayer is required of women. Some in the Orthodox community say that women are required to pray three times a day, just as men are, but not necessarily at specified times; some say that women are required to pray once a day; some say that any petition to HaShem (which, I guess, would include a psalm) fulfills a women’s daily prayer obligation.

I am reminded of a discussion I had with yet another Orthodox co-worker a few years ago. I mentioned to her, with some pride, that I'd finally learned to say the short (not the longer Monday and Thursday) Tachanun. Instead of congratulating me on my learning, she sniffed, "Women don't say Tachanun."

So how’s this for odd: I davven more than many women in both the Conservative and Orthodox camps. And you wonder why I feel like a square peg in a round community. I suspect I'm not the only one who sees me as a square peg--I imagine I have something of a rep as an "odd duck." What can I say but "Quack?"